Happy One Year Divorce Anniversary to Me!

Office people celebrating

Photo Cred: GraphicStock. Fun fact: this is called “office people celebrating.”

So much has changed in a year! Last year on this exact day, my biggest stress was waiting to see whether the court would grant my divorce. The paperwork had already been sent back due to my attorney’s errors in the paperwork (which cost me more $$$, go figure).

Right now, my biggest issue is trying to get my damn floors fixed (please, Lowe’s, please) and trying to figure out when I can take a vacation! The funny thing is that I feel just as stressed but when I step back and try to get some perspective – I realize this is NOTHING compared to last year.

Society tells me it’s classless to celebrate this anniversary but if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past year- it’s that I do not care what I’m supposed to say or what I’m supposed to do. This feels like a milestone to me and so I’m going to celebrate it.

In the spirit of reflection, here are some of the things that are very different at this one year mark:

  1. One year ago, I wondered if I’d ever stop thinking about my divorce/the person I divorced. The answer is YES. At some point, miraculously, I was no longer labelling myself as the newly divorced person and it became something I thought about less frequently. I can’t pinpoint the exact day that was the first day that I NEVER thought about it once, but realized shortly thereafter what a luxury it was to finally have a clear head.
  2. In the same theme, I stopped talking about it (okay breaking this one for this milestone day). One day, it just didn’t come up anymore. There was a time when this gal was a broken record, which I think stemmed from the fact that I felt sorry for myself or felt like a failure. Guess what? One year later I have sooooo many better things to talk about.
  3. I know I made the right decision. This is going to sound weird but at the crossroads when I was deciding to leave the relationship, I felt confident about which choice was truly best for me but there was obviously no guarantee. One year later, I KNOW I made the right decision and I’m proud of myself for pushing through those moments.
  4. I’m boring again. No one seems to be questioning my decisions or life choices. I’m not the most interesting person in the room with the most dramatic life. This is a win. But now, I’m approaching these situations with a different perspective. I’m not a relationship expert and I’m not going to pretend to be. I realize couples face problems in all forms and I’m not going to judge anything that’s going on in a relationship unless it’s dangerous (and then it won’t really be judgement but concern). If it works for you, the more power to you.

Now I’m off to spend the day appreciating where I’ve come from and where I’m headed.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

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